Wearing: Zipporra's Arrow Top (c/o #CROSSSECTION The Boutique), Evyie's Asymmetric Skirt (c/o #CROSSSECTION The Boutique), Maple & Ray's Neck Cuff (c/o #CROSSSECTION The Boutique), Steve Madden Boots thanks to Steve Madden, Royal Aquamarine's Rockerfeller Sunglasses (midnight with leather)
Well, here I am. I'm dressed in the most beautiful clothing from #CROSSSECTION The Boutique (think Zipporra and Evyie) and I know as I stare at these photos that I should've been feeling amazing. But at the time these photos were taken, I can see I was not. I've been avoiding uploading outfit shots because I just look so unhappy. I even still have my old tired balayage hair in these.
This past week, I've been going through a time where I think the universe is trying to test me when a person left my life. So I started to avoid the universe.
I've come to not wanting to go home and sleep in my bed. Too many memories in my room haunt me. So as I finish my shift at the 24/7 open casino at 2am, 4am or 6am... I just didn't go home to sleep for four days. First it was on a couch with my friend; the 2nd, in the back of my car in a dingy carpark; the 3rd, the same; and the 4th, in my boyfriend's bed.
I finally did go home - but I've had to strip my sheets, cleanse myself throroughly and put away photos and memories to be able to sleep there again.
I will admit, it was scary to sleep in my car from 2am onwards only to wake up in a dark hole(it was a 24/7 carpark with barely any lighting). It's Winter so I curled myself in the back with a tiny blanket and forced my eyes shut. When I jolted awake and it's still 5am I wake up to pure darkness and then say to myself: 'Natalie, please sleep, you're in a fricken carpark for bloody sake'. It was also a time where I stopped myself jumping onto my phone to dwell on old photos or emails or texts. I had to preserve my phone battery for the morning. What a dark two days that was.
I think the universe tested me that week but I think I'm finally crawling back. My birthday is what I'm looking forward to - and birthday planning really , really does help. I've come at a cross section where I miss my old life terribly and the person in it. But I've decided to cross over to a new chapter in my life because I promised myself I will be happy. And I will. I most definitely will.
Your hair is so cute!
ReplyDeletexoxo, Cheers & Cosmos
http://cheersandcosmos.blogspot.com/
Oh dear what's wrong? :( I'm so sorry to read that you've been going through some rough time. I hope things get better soon!
ReplyDeleteNora
NoraFinds
Amazing, love your shoes!
ReplyDeletexoxo
New post: http://valefashionworld.blogspot.it/2013/05/trend-allert-crop-top.html
love this look!
ReplyDeleteamazing hair honey
xoxo
Syriously in Fashion
Syriously Facebook Page
The comments in this post will show how many of those people actually read what you write, instead of just link-spamming...
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I always enjoyed your blog and I'm sad that you go through hard times. But don't worry. With enough time, everything heals :) And in the end, the hard moments of life make us who we are. ;)
Good luck Lucy!
Aww, hugs to you, so sad to hear you're going through hard stuff :/ But hey, awesome pictures! You look amazing in that outfit ♥ xo
ReplyDeleteCute xx
ReplyDeletesydneyfashionandstylehunter.blogspot.com.au
sorry to hear you're going through a hard time :( big hugs hun, hope you get through it ok xx
ReplyDelete:( I hope you are okay Natalie, or at least, I hope you will be. I don't think the photo's we post always have to be happy and cheerful, they should reflect the mood of the post, and these photos, coupled with your text, are hauntingly beautiful. xox
ReplyDelete