An Outfit for Queen

An Outfit: Nasty Gal Teal Satin Skirt; Cotton On Queen T-shirt; Showpo Lace Kimono; Standard Bag; Asos Flats. All Photos taken with Canon D70 DSLR and Google Pixel 3XL

Helloooooo. I'm sharing some photos of one of my favourite outfits from when I attended the Queen concert back in March before we started lockdown. They were AMAZING by the way and it was a tick off my long concert bucket list.

I had soooo much fun putting this outfit together. I really enjoy fashion and styling and even studied Fashion Design. I embrace the mixing up of textures and a pop of colour every once in a while [Enter teal coloured skirt here].

Lately while in lock-down I have spending more time at home and rotating my days in the office and working from home so I don't get to put together outfits as often as I would like. Which really made me sad? And I didn't know I was sad until recently. Like I was out of place in this world and not feeling a connection to myself. I couldn't figure out why I couldn't find joy in some of my days.....

Anyways I finally figured it out when I bought some new clothes the other day and put it together for an outing with friends, and I finally found some happiness... like I was alive again.

Which made me question.... am I vain? Am I putting my happiness into materialistic possessions such as clothes, shoes, hair and makeup?

Or am I a person who needs to prioritise and practice Self-Care and Self-Love? 

Either way it made me re-evaluate how I live my life, which is really confrontational and I was putting this off for a long time because I didn't like the thoughts that crept into my mind. Should I stop focusing on looks and fashion because eventually my face will start to get wrinkles, grow grey hairs soon and saggy skin? Maybe I'm terrified of getting old and never had to think about it until now.

Anyways these were the thoughts going around and around in my head for the past week. I'm abit lost and a little tired. And honestly I am starting to feel vulnerable about my personality? Would I still love myself if I took away my clothes, make-up and hair? 

Any advice or thoughts are welcome here.

FYI my coffee order is a Soy Flat White <3

Black Pink 2020

Wearing: Showpo Stunning View Dress in Black Mesh, Asos Boots, Showpo Heavy Hearted Kimono in Black, HerWigCloset Dusty Rose Wig

So, I've noticed that my new years resolutions tie in with everyone else's - eat healthier, exercise more, read more, sleep better, save money, get rid of a backlog etc.. so here's yet another list of 2020 goals for your musing:

Be Present: My dog Sokchea is around 11 years old and she recently got really sick... losing alot of weight in a matter of days. From 6kg to 4.4kg she is now exhausted, refusing food, losing her voice, can't jump up and down from the bed and can't walk in a straight line now. 

We took her to the vet and found out her health has deteriorated quite significantly.. advanced kidney failure, cardiovascular issues, renal failure, dental issues, and possible cancer. And while we will be taking her to the specialist soon I know deep down that she won't fully recover and she'll have a reduced quality of life. The only comforting thought I have is that she is not in pain right now.
She is just uncomfortable and tired - spending her days sleeping around and not caring about her surroundings. It breaks my heart that I can feel her spine and rib cage every time I pat her.
Sokchea usually is so cheerful and has so much character with the friendliest attitude. She always put a smile on my face with her own goofy face - I love her so much.

I read that spending time with your dog is one of the best things you can do for a sick dog. Talk to her like everything is going to be ok and give her lots of reassuring hugs. Try and feed her even though she constantly rejects food.
My goal is to spend as much time as I can with Sokchea, try to be positive even though it's hurting..  just be present.

Read What I Have: Every year I try to read one book a month - so that makes about twelve books a year. But in 2019 I've been doing this thing where I make a list of books to read from my bookshelf - but then I continue to add to that pile every time I buy a new book. And I go book shopping often. Then I end up with an even bigger pile of unread books. I did a quick count of my books and based on my goal of twelve books a year, I was sitting on 5-6 years worth of books. This put my buying habits into perspective. 

So now my goal is to not buy any new books for 2020 and stick to my reading list. The same applies to my makeup (except to replace base items like my foundation), clothes (only replace basics) and music (listen to what I newly acquire). In simpler terms - clear my backlog.

Workout at least three days a week: I've been unrealistic in insisting that 'working out' really counts if it's at the gym and its weight training. This year I must be more reasonable and be ok with counting home workouts and cardio/walks as exercise. It all adds up.
For the past few months, if I told myself I'll start working out on Monday but didn't end up doing it, I convinced myself it was ok to start again next week and laze around for the rest of the week. Not this year! Fuck me, my thighs are starting to jiggle.

Also I won't try and stretch myself too thin this year. Just be present and love what I already have. Take care of myself and just rest. Plan simple outings with my friends and families. Laze about and listen to my favorite albums.

And lastly - stay true to my love of fashion. I found this lovely soft pink wig online and took it with me to a Music Festival. I love refreshing my look and I don't think that part of me is going to change any time soon.